Post some Jokes!

If there was already a thread like this, well then, here's a new one. :p


http://i341.photobucket.com/albums/o...ga/Image11.jpg


Only in North Carolina my friends...Only in North Carolina ...Too bad....
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Durham , NC . He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Carolina deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer.
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats.
Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

meh..

fail

whats the worst part about being a ballsack?

Your neighbors a dick, your co worker's a asshole, and your best friend is a pussy.:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hyperonion

whats the worst part about being a ballsack?

Your neighbors a dick, your co worker's a asshole, and your best friend is a pussy.:D

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You throw up everytime you get excited.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vash

You throw up everytime you get excited.

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rofl that's awesome. xD

sorry about that

No, he answered your question. Get it? :p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SonicHyuga

No, he answered your question. Get it? :p

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Wow. Ha Ha

The bride tells her husband The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

getting better...

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SonicHyuga

No, he answered your question. Get it? :p

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OH! haha.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nw5

getting better...

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Then get this partay started with some of yours, David. xD

Barack Obama and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo bro, look towards sky, what you see?"
Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
OBAMA pondered for a few moments and then said,....
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically speaking, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically speaking, it tells me Mother Nature is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically speaking, it tells me we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto replies: "Obama, you dumber than Buffalo ****; it means some one stole the tent!"

2 douches are walking down the street. What do they say to each other?

Nothing. They were both stuck-up bitches.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hyperonion

2 douches are walking down the street. What do they say to each other?

Nothing. They were both stuck-up bitches.

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L.M.A.O

What do you call a faggot in a wheelchair?

Rollaids

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
:p:p
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!